Beautiful Surprises!

“God in his goodness has been doing this thing in my life for a long time - surprising me, drawing me along to places I could never have imagined.” Shauna Niequist in Present Over Perfect

When I first read this, my whole body, down to my core, resonated with understanding. There have been so many shaky, messy, uncertain times in my life where I couldn’t see exactly where the unpaved road was leading me. What was the end goal in this big new decision? Should I really have ventured down this new path? The road I was travelling on before seemed fine and safe to me...what am I doing!? Can I really handle this? But when I take the time to look back at each of those uncertain, sometimes scary moments, I can see that God was at work. He was taking the lead and “drawing me along to places I could have never imagined.” He was covering my life in joy and I didn’t even know it.

When He told me, during college, to apply to be the Director, the leader, of an organization with over 100 students that served parents and families all over the city, I stopped in my tracks. I am the definition of an introvert! Work hard but stay behind the scenes. The memories of taking “public speaking” in high school AND college still haunt my nightmares! So the idea that I would willingly take on a role where I would regularly be leading meetings and hosting events with hundreds of people sitting there, all eyes on me, seemed crazy...not to mention the adult braces and awkward haircut I was sporting at the time...not the most self-confident of seasons for me. Honestly, I’m still not sure how He got me to do it. But oh, how glad I am that He did. He surprised me. First with my voice. The very fact that I COULD do something like this. I may not have been amazing at it, but I learned that I was able to stand in front of a crowd as a leader, and that my voice, my passions and my presence mattered. So much of who I am today is because of what I learned about myself in those moments. I also found some of my very best friends in these years. Friends that helped shape my faith and my life. Friends who were in my wedding, have shared in the ups and downs of life, and who will be forever family to me. What if I had said no so many years ago just because I was afraid? What a beautiful surprise He had planned for me!

When He told me, after college, to move to Katy to start my next adventure - teaching - I was a little hesitant at first. A new city, a new job, a new apartment ALONE for the first time ever...was I really ready for something like this? It would be so much easier to move back to Austin where my family and friends were. But easier now doesn’t always get you to beautiful later. So I said yes! Like any unpaved road, there were definitely bumps. There were many trials, lonely moments, and even times when I thought about picking up and moving back to Austin. But God is covering our lives in joy even when we can’t see it. Five years later, as I sit here looking back, I can see so many beautiful surprises that God has revealed by me “saying yes” to this path. This is where I met my husband, the love of my life. This is where I got married, where my brother and sister have both settled down, where we recently bought our first house, where we’ll raise a family one day. This is home! Wow...what if I had said no because it had seemed like too hard of a path? What beautiful surprises He had planned all along!

When He told me, after four years of teaching the same grade at the same school, to pick up and move to a private school across town, uncertain would be an understated description of my heart. I had formed strong bonds, made incredible friendships that felt more like family, and had excelled in my craft at this school. Was starting over somewhere else really what God wanted from me? But I trusted Him. I left the comfortable, well-known, and headed for the blank canvas that was this new school. Of course it wasn’t easy and I doubted at times, but I grew so much in my faith last year at this school. I learned a lot about myself and even more about God. I was nervous at first about sharing the Gospel with my students...surely I wouldn’t know quite what to say or have the right answers when they asked the tough questions...but this actually turned out to be my beautiful surprise. My heart has never been as full in a classroom as it was when I had 18 small sets of eyes on me, and a Bible in my hands. I was reminded of what pure, honest, child-like belief looks like. They taught me as I taught them. I found a new passion for sharing God with young minds, something I’m sure will be part of my life for years to come. What if I had said no and stayed where I was comfortable? Oh, what a beautiful surprise He had planned!

When He told me to start blogging and to share my love for Him and joy for life with others, my initial reaction was to run the other way. I don’t have what it takes, or enough to say, or enough to offer, to make it worthwhile…”Sure you do. You have Me!” is what I heard instead. I know He’s leading. In this season of life, in so many different areas, He’s working in me and through me and for me and I can’t wait to keep following Him along this exciting, and sometimes uncertain, new turn. He’s crafting a beautiful surprise for us every time we say yes and let Him lead.

Mother Teresa’s words touched my heart when she said:

“I always say I am a little pencil in God’s hands.

He does the thinking.

He does the writing.

He does everything and sometimes it is really hard

because it is a broken pencil and He has to sharpen it a little more.

Be a little instrument in His hands so that He can use you anytime, anywhere.

We have only to say ‘yes’ to God.”

There are so many opportunities for us to slow down, say yes, and follow God every single day. I have been blessed with many other times in my life, some monumental and some just simple in-passing moments, when His plans worked out, even when I doubted them. He never stops! He never stops caring about the little details and intricately planning the next steps –  the next steps that He knows are for my good, even if I can’t see it in that moment. Just when I think things are going one direction, He shows me that he has a path adorned with beauty going the opposite direction.

Whatever season you’re in - of change or transition, uncertainty, a season containing a challenge or presenting a new opportunity, or maybe you’re just in a season of waiting - let God lead. Be that pencil, broken, dull or sharp as you are, and let God use you. Don’t be afraid to say yes to Him. To something new, to something big, small, different, something seemingly impossible... If you feel unequipped for the task, He will equip you (Heb. 13:21). If you can’t see the path ahead, He will guide you (Isa. 58:11). If you feel scared, He will protect you (Ps. 121:7). And if you truly let Him lead, one day maybe you’ll look back and realize your life is full of His beautiful surprises.

Joyfully in Him,

Anna